I recently finished the book, “Hell’s Angel” by and about Sonny Barger. I have little doubt that the general time line of events was pretty accurate. The part of the book I found less convincing and most terrifying was Mr. Barger’s attempt to downplay the dangerous and violent side of the events. Some gruff-looking guy acting tough and telling everybody how “bad” he is can be disconcerting. Mr. Barger’s attempt to distance himself from that image is far scarier. Though he frequently describes himself and the club as “Just a bunch of guys who like to ride their bikes and have fun,” the extremely casual attitude toward human life and an utter disdain for civility paint a different picture.
The book wasn’t so much an eye-opener as a point around which a growing conviction could congeal. When I first bought my motorcycle, I ran out and bought black leather riding gear. Looking back, it was a lot like selecting a Halloween costume. Ray Liotta’s character in the movie Wild Hogs referred to riders dressed in black leather, who weren’t part of the outlaw culture, as posers. The ghosts or mummies I may have imitated on Halloween don’t really roam the streets. The 1-percenters, on whom the black leather riding costumes are based, do. So do I want to dress like them? Is that truly the image of myself I’d like to convey?
In my case the answer is no. I like being a law-abiding citizen. I like being a good neighbor. I like people to feel safe and relaxed around me. I actually want to be an average American who rides a motorcycle for fun and relaxation. So if I don’t want to be some bad and dangerous biker when on the motorcycle, who do I want to be? Turns out that answer is easy. Me. The same guy sitting here at work writing this blog. The same guy who will sit with his wife, kids and grandkids on Thanksgiving. That guy enjoys riding motorcycles for the sake of the bikes and the ride. A guy who doesn’t need to feel he’s intimidating somebody to enjoy riding.
I’ll continue to wear protective riding gear. A lot of it will be black because that is the most popular color and the most easily available. But I won’t be dressing for effect. I’ll be dressing for safety and comfort. And if I don’t look like a biker? Good!

－ Guy Wheatley

The surgery was seven weeks ago. Physically, I’m recovering faster than my doctor expected. It’s always good to hear how far ahead of the curve I am on each visit. That being said, I guess I was expecting more energy, stamina and desire to do stuff. I really thought I’d have been back to blogging several weeks by now. It’s just hard to write about the motorcycles when I haven’t been on them in such a long time. It will be a least a couple of weeks before I get on them again. And then it will only be for short rides of a few blocks. As a result, I just don’t have much to talk about.
One bike-related event did happen recently while I was waiting a drug delivery. Actually, I was standing in line at the pharmacy. There was a pretty long line so I knew I’d be there for a while. They guy standing in front of me looked to be in his mid-30s. He was wearing soiled jeans, a tattered sleeveless t-shirt, and sported a goatee. He had tattoos, but so do I, so no judgment here on that score. He just seemed like a typical, working-class stiff who’d stopped by the pharmacy on his way home from work. What caught my attention wasn’t the way he looked. It was what he was saying. He was taking to the lady ahead of him about a mutual friend who’d been hurt on a motorcycle.
I listened for a second to see if I might know the person they were talking about. I didn’t know the subject of their conversation, but was just about to join in offering sympathy when the guy said something that stopped me.
“Yep,” he said loudly, “that’s why I’ve got loud pipes on my bike. Loud pipes save lives.” He then went on with an impossible tale of a lady on the interstate doing 80 in an SUV full of kids almost changing lanes in front of him until he hit the throttle and his pipes warned her off.
I’m not saying it didn’t happen. It just would have to have happened in a universe with different laws of physics than those that operate here in this one. If he had no pipes at all simply blasting hot exhaust gases directly from his heads, the lady doing 80 in an SUV would not have heard him until his was even with her. By the time she heard his pipes he would have to be almost to the front of her vehicle and past the most dangerous point. It’s far more likely she caught movement in her peripheral visual field. There has been a lot of research on this subject, and nobody has found a single piece of objective data that loud pipes are beneficial. In fact, there is a considerable body of evidence that they are detrimental. But nonetheless, some people who like loud pipes continue to insist they are a safety feature.
The fellow in line ahead of me was obviously one of them. He then continued with several other colloquialisms that were equally ridiculous, including the following two
He didn’t wear a helmet because it restricts vision. And there are two kinds of bikers: those who have had an accident and those who are going to.
As I listened to him loudly blather away, it occurred to me that with his philosophies on safety, it was no wonder he assumed that accidents were inevitable.

－ Guy Wheatley

I got home yesterday (Tuesday) about 4:30 pm. I can’t lift anything. I’m still so sore it was all I could do to drag my cut up carcass into the house, which left it to Mrs. Sharon to do EVERY thing else. So, as I basically sat on the couch watching TV, still using my hands to delicately hold in my innards at every deep breath or cough, Sharon spent the rest of the evening hauling in stuff from the car getting supper and cleaning up what messes the cats had left.
We’d left them with sufficient litter pans, food and water to hold out for the 7 to 10 days we’d expected to be gone. We closed the door to our bedroom, to keep it off limits. But one of the cats managed to dart unseen through the door as we closed it the last time. This rotund ball of gray stripped fur goes by the ridiculous nom de plume Skinny Minnie. While the name fit when she first came to us, it has been many years since she could fit in her prom dress. I’d taken to calling her Fatty Patty, however Mrs Sharon nixed that name. So even as we watch her waddle down the hall, as wide or tall as she is long, we still call her Skinny Minnie.
It’s amazing how she can get that much fat moving so fast so quickly, but she can. And of course she picked the worst possible time to do it, darting unseen through a door that would remain closed for the next seven days.
As we opened the bedroom door, headed for blessed slumber, a much more svelte Skinny Minnie shot between our legs in a mad dash to the feeder and water dish. It became quickly obvious that we would not be sleeping in our bed this night.
Settling down in the guest bedroom, I lay in bed with the Yorkie friends who’d been keeping had returned a few hours earlier. We have a rug topped with towels on the bed, that are his bed. Sharon finished her chores and came to bed. Leaving her and the Yorkie, I went to the bathroom to start swapping and cleaning the various bags and tubes that will be my constant companions for the next 4 weeks. Just as I was finishing up, I heard a distressed, ‘Oh no! BINKY!” I guess there was just too much change and too much excitement for that little bladder. Sharon had stepped out of bed for just a second to grab another blanket. Binky stepped off his bed for some other business. On to the second guest bedroom, and our third bed for the night. Thus passed our first evening home.

－ Guy Wheatley

Riding the bike has always been soothing for me, and now the drone of the engine and the wind in my face helps calm the fear waiting in the wings for an unguarded moment to pounce. The roughly four hours I spend in transit on each trip gives me time to come to grips with what is happening. It’s an opportunity to build some perspective and start coming to grips with it emotionally.
Back on the Valkyrie headed for Texarkana, I have an almost two-hour ride to digest what I’ve just learned. I may have fudged the speed limit a time or two hitting 80 mph or better as I circled around Shreveport on I-220. The furnace hot blast from this 105 degree day washing over me somehow feels good. For the next two hours I am a biker again. The frailty I’d felt drops away with a twist of the wrist. The 1500cc flat 6 howls my defiance through the 6 into 6 cobra pipes, and it seems that surely not even the big C can catch me while mounted on my powerful phat lady. I know it’s only an illusion, but it is one I will come to cherish more with each subsequent trip.
I just found out I have bladder cancer. Bummer.
The news is not all bad. The type I have is very aggressive, but it is confined to the bladder. With the removal of my bladder, the cancer will be gone. But so will my bladder. I suspect that may be a bit of an inconvenience.
Reviewing my options with my surgeon I decided to go for a more complicated procedure where he will make a new bladder for me from part of my intestine. Things will never be exactly the same, but within a year, I should be able to ride again. My surgery is scheduled for Sept. 27.
It may be several weeks before I’m able to blog again, but I do plan to be back pontificating my fingers off as soon as possible. I want to thank you folks who routinely submit yourselves to my mental ramblings. Your thoughts and prayers are welcome. In the meantime, take a ride and enjoy the wind in your faces for me until I can be back and do it for myself.
Until I see you on the road again, keep the rubber side down.

－ Guy Wheatley

Nissan used to make really good commercials. I remember the days when zipping through the commercial break of a recorded program, I’d go back to watch a Nissan ad. My two favorites were where G. I. Joe steals Barbie from Ken and the one where the flock of pigeons try to soil a freshly washed Nissan car. But that was many years ago. Their ads must be quite forgettable since that time as I can’t recall one. I’m sure I’ve seen them, but they just haven’t had any impact on me. Now however, they gone from forgettable to offensive. In the annals of all time, ill-conceived ad campaigns, the new ad for the Juke, airing in Canada, will surely go right up there with “New Coke.”
The CGI ad has a woman enter a parking garage, only to be accosted by predators on sport bikes. She is rescued as a Juke roars onto the scene and begins to chase down and run over the bikes. As the last bike is destroyed, we see that the Juke’s center console is modeled after a motorcycle gas tank and is supposedly a trophy.
Even getting past the ridiculous idea of the pathetic little car that couldn’t outrun a school bus is chasing down 200 mph sport bikes, we’re left wondering exactly what message Nissan is trying to convey. That it’s OK to run over motorcycles? That motorcycle riders are bad people? That Nissan doesn’t like motorcycles or motorcycle riders? It just makes me wonder if their cars are now as bad as their commercials. I owned a Nissan years ago, and was very pleased with it. Come to think of it, it was during the time of the good commercials.
My four-wheeled vehicles are all GM products now. My bikes are both from Honda. I don’t see a Nissan in my garage any time in the near future. Certainly not a Juke. And watching that commercial just reinforces that conviction.

－ Guy Wheatley

Four California men have filed a class-action lawsuit against Harley-Davidson. They claim that the Twin Cam 88 and Twin Cam 96 motors run excessively hot, and they have suffered injuries including burns as a result. One of the men, Matt Weyuker, claims the bike set his pants on fire. Matt says Harley has told him there are several things he can do, including installing an oil cooler. Matt argues he shouldn’t have to pay for these changes; Harley should be doing these things to the bikes before they leave the factory. He claims selling the bikes without these cooling modifications is a design flaw. His lawyer, Bill Kershaw, says they think Harley doesn’t want to change the configuration and look of the bike.
I hardly know where to begin. The first clue to Matt’s cluelessness is in his statement, “Harley has always been on the cutting edge of technology, they can figure it out and make it work.” I’ve seen plenty of Harley advertisements hawking style, tradition, image and even attitude. I can’t recall an official Harley spokesman ever claiming they were on the cutting edge of technology. If they have, it’s a pretty good bet it was in reference to the V-rod, a bike using a different engine designed in collaboration with Porsche that is water cooled.
What Harley sells is a 1920s era style of air-cooled, push rod, over head valve, 45 degree V-twin engine that looks like is was chopped out of a WWI era biplane. Far from keeping this a secret, Harley goes to great pains to reach potential new customers with its style, image and tradition. Harley advertises its motorcycles to be exactly what they are. Exactly what Matt bought.
If Matt wants a American motorcycle with an oil cooler, then he should have bought from a plant in Spirit Lake, Iowa. They sell the Victory brand of motorcycles. These are all V-twin bikes with oil coolers. They also have other engineering differences such as overhead cams, dual valves and a 60-degree cylinder separation (EDIT – As pointed out in a comment below, the Freedom Engine actually uses a 50 degree cylinder separation.) that reduces noise and vibration. As a result of these differences they run cooler and quieter, but they don’t look or sound like Harleys. There’s no potato/potato from the pipes, the additional 15 degrees of cylinder separation is more noticeable than you might expect and, finally, that big old radiator -looking oil cooler blocking the front tire’s view of the engine.
I have no sympathy for Matt or the others who may jump into this. These folks had a choice about what to buy and, despite their claims, nobody mislead them. Most of the people who buy Harleys are buying and paying for the Harley experience. That experience includes those hot, noisy, vibration- prone, twin cam engines. If Matt didn’t want that, he should have bought something different.

－ Guy Wheatley

Link to Sacramento CBS news video

I’ve owned five different motorcycles. Several of them seemed plagued by a model-specific gremlin. The two bikes I presently have are good examples of this. I would guess that 80 percent or more of the technical talk on the Magna boards revolve around the carburetors. There is a well-documented “flat” spot in the Magna power curve commonly remedied by shimming the main jets with a couple of washers. But the real problem with the Magna carbs seems to be a tendency for the slow jets to clog up if the bike sits for even a short period of time with gas in it. Most folks on the Magna board are big proponents of a specific gas additive that is supposed to help keep the carburetors clean. I’ve experienced problems with mine after having it sit up for a couple of weeks. So far, I’ve been able to rectify the issue with gas additives.
The Valkyrie is also a Honda product with carburetors. It doesn’t seem to be as bad about clogging up as the Magna, but the model does have its own gremlin. The dreaded hydro-lock. It hasn’t happened to me, but I’ve seen it twice in the last three years on other bikes in the small groups of local dragon riders. The reason this issue gets so much attention is because of the potential it holds for expensive damage. I’ve seen several reports on the national Valkyrie board of a hydro-locked bike having teeth knocked off the fly-wheel or starter gear. Something that can do that much expensive damage is bound to get a lot of attention.
But as one poster pointed out, we get a false idea of the danger. Because it is such a scary problem, there is a lot of talk about it. But in actuality, the percentage of Valkyries with this problem is less than 1 percent. But it takes up a much larger percentage of the posts on the board, causing members to get the impression it’s much more prevalent.
But if you find a bike, or bikes, that holds a special place in your heart, then you find yourself loving them in spite of their flaws. Those peculiarities become part of the bikes’ “character.” A friend of mine, when comparing products or services, frequently says, “all dogs have fleas.” Paraphrasing, “all bikes have gremlins.”

－ Guy Wheatley

When I first began working on my bikes, I had a lot of help. I wasn’t much of a mechanic and originally planned to simply haul my motorcycle back to the dealer for any maintenance or repairs. But hanging around other riders, I quickly saw that besides saving money on regular maintenance and necessary repairs, I would be able to afford changes and modifications if I did the work myself that would be beyond my reach if I relied soley on the dealership. But additionally, there is a peace of mind that comes from understanding your machine and having confidence in your ability to repair and maintain it. I now carry tools and enough experience to handle most problems I’m likely to encounter on the road. If a problem arises, I can start to fix it rather than feel helpless about it. I also know maintenance is performed routinely and correctly. I don’t have to simply trust that the dealer did it right. I know that I did. But all of that starts with taking a wrench to your bike. And in the early days, I needed the support, guidance and encouragement from other riders.
The earliest efforts involved more watching than wrenching. I’d haul my bike to somebody’s shop for a wrenching session. Often this would be an open session with many people and several planned projects. Occasionally, mine was the only bike in the shop. The folks with the most experience would take the lead, and the rest of us followed along as our skills allowed. In my case, that was mainly watching and learning. As I attended more wrenching sessions, I began to occasionally pick up a tool or two and tackle part of the project. Success with these ventures led me to buy a few tools and start to work on my own bike in my own garage. Each successful project gave me the confidence to tackle a harder one. But knowing that help was a phone call away also played a part in my willingness to try it on my own.
I now find that I rarely need to work on my bike at a wrench session. I’ve already taken care of most things that need to be done on my own. But I still go to those I can make. And I still pick up a tool when I think I can make a contribution. My tools and experience are always available to a fellow rider. And when I am able to help in some small way, I think back to those early days I was completely relied on others. Every time I’m able to help a beginning wrencher, it’s like I’m paying back a little of the debt I owe to them.

－ Guy Wheatley

Actually the title should be tying down a phat lady. I just thought the other way I’d get a few more clicks. This will be a blog about safely transporting my Valkyrie on a trailer, not the other subject that probably came to mind.
While my bike is certainly not a trailer queen, I’m not beyond loading her up on the trailer when circumstances dictate. There are times when I simply have to be in a larger vehicle. Having a trailer often means I can haul one or more of the bikes along when they would otherwise have simply stayed in the garage. A trailer can actually mean more time in the saddle, not less. It can mean riding after the other business is done, not simply sitting around, wishing I had the bike with me.
Now that the bike is on the trailer, I want to be sure it rides safely. I don’t want it to fall or bounce out or over. My trailer is 16 x 6 and I’ve installed two locking wheel chocks. It has rails all the way around that allow plenty of anchorage points to secure the straps. But now several questions arise. Kickstand up or down. Forks compressed or not. Where on the bike do I attach the straps?
Putting the Valkyrie on the trailer, the wheel chock stands the bike straight up, rendering the kickstand question moot. When I put the smaller Magna in the back of my pickup, I use the kickstand. Many bikers tell me this is a bad idea because hitting a large bump could break it. I disagree. If a bump breaks the kickstand, you didn’t have the bike properly tied down, and it is probable the bike would have been jarred loose from its tie-downs. The kickstand gives you an additional support point and will help keep the bike in position, and in its straps. A broken kickstand, in my opinion, means you had other more serious problems.
I used to ratchet the forks all the way down to prevent the bike from bouncing. Several people have suggested that this may not be good for the forks. Keeping the springs fully compressed for hours or days might weaken them. While I have no empirical data to either confirm or dispel this notion, it does make sense to me.
On the other hand, taking no compression out of the forks leaves a lot of bounce. Even with the wheel locked into the chock, the front end would be bouncing from every bump, just as it is designed to do. That would cause a lot of jerking on the straps, but also a lot of negative pressure on the forks as they fully rebounded, then were snatched tight by the wheel locked into the chock. They were not designed for that.
My compromise solution is to pull them down a little less than half way. This stops any negative pressure because the straps will stop the upward bounce before the forks reach their maximum distention. And the front end is less prone to bounce around because there is some tension already in the forks. I’m still compressing the spring some, but only in the upper end where it is less likely to become permanent.
For anchor points on the bike, I used the rubberized hooks through the luggage rack on the back. These are fine and are unlikely to cause trouble. For the other places, I run the straps through the engine guards and around the risers on the bars. This will eventually cause trouble if I trailer long enough. Those straps will eventually rub through the chrome and I’ll start to get rust. A simple solution might be pipe insulation to protect those pieces.
I use ratchet straps for the primary tie-downs, but also run safety rope as a backup. Always have at least two means for each direction of restraint. Ratchet straps are the best way to go, but there may be times when they are unavailable or unusable for some reason. For those times, you need to know how to tie at least three knots. One is the bowline, another is a truckers-hitch and the last is a half-hitch.
Learn these knots and practice them. You’ll find they can bring a lot of pleasure to binding your phat lady.

－ Guy Wheatley

After 20 days and 6000 miles of real world testing, the MST from Motus is heading back to the shop. The idea was to incorporate real world experience gained from the real world riding these prototypes experienced into the final production design. Watching the video, it’s hard to imagine what technical deficiencies need to be addressed. My only suggestions are different mufflers, open the faring up to show off the beautiful engine more, and a better paint scheme.
Listening to parts of the video, old scenes from the French Connection, or Bullet came to mind. I can’t wait until riders start customizing their bikes to see what sounds they can coax out of that power plant. Let’s hear what Cobra, or Vance & Hines can do with that sort of raw material.
I was glad to see that at least one of the prototypes had red valve covers. That is a beautiful power plant, and drag or no, it needs to be showcased. Give it a few years, and I’m sure there will be tons of third party bling available for it.
And finaly, this wouldn’t be a blog from me about Motus if I didn’t lament the fact that they’re not building a cruiser. Oh well, there’s always 2013.

－ Guy Wheatley

The KMV4 powered MST from Motus.