Search:

Speed Racer 1 Star—The Wachowski brothers have tumbled into a matrix of their own this time, one which has rendered them completely out of touch with the outside world. In adapting the 1960s Japanese anime television series, writer-directors Larry and Andy Wachowski have created a noisy, overlong, mind-numbing extravaganza that seems tailor-made for nobody but themselves and their twisted sensibilities. Their longtime producing partner Joel Silver insists in the production notes (which are almost as lengthy as the movie itself): “‘Speed Racer’ is for everybody.” Seriously? At two hours and 15 minutes, it’s way too long for little kids, the only ones for whom this explosion at a crayon factory would seem even vaguely entertaining. Adults seeking the nostalgia of their own childhood will just be disappointed, because “Speed Racer” the movie bears little resemblance to “Speed Racer” the TV cartoon. And even racing fans will have trouble following the races, because they’re edited in such a way that it’s impossible to tell who’s in the lead, who’s gaining and where the finish line is (not to mention that the Wachowskis have obliterated the laws of gravity and physics, therefore negating the sport’s innate logic). It’s also a waste of the talents of people who truly can act and are capable of far more than functioning as cogs within such candy-coated chaos. Emile Hirsch stars as Speed Racer, who likes to race and still misses his brother, who died suspiciously in competition. That’s about all we know about him. Christina Ricci appears in the inert, thankless role of Speed’s girlfriend, Trixie, with Susan Sarandon and John Goodman as Mom and Pops Racer. The story has something to do with a corrupt corporate mogul (Roger Allam) who fixes races and wants to drag Speed over to the dark side of the sport. Kids will love that. PG for sequences of action, some violence, language and brief smoking. 135 min.—Christy Lemire



What Happens in Vegas 2 Stars—Come on, now. You already know what happens in Vegas. You’ve undoubtedly seen the ubiquitous television commercials in which Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher bicker and beat each other black-and-blue but, secretly, seethe with lust. And you already know that they’ll end up softening their stances and falling for each other in the end—it’s pretty standard stuff by now. One does not go to a romantic comedy for the Shyamalan-style plot twists. Director Tom Vaughan’s film strives desperately to harken to those classic screwball comedies of yore while including the kind of gross-out humor (Kutcher peeing on dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, etc.) that has, unfortunately, become de rigueur for modern-day incarnations of the genre. What happens in “Vegas” is exactly would you expect: It’s formulaic, slapsticky, silly and loud, until it goes all gooey in the end. But still, Diaz and Kutcher have enough charisma individually and enough spark together to make this otherwise forgettable movie from screenwriter Dana Fox (“The Wedding Date”) vaguely tolerable. And Lake Bell and Rob Corddry as their respective wisecracking best pals steal some scenes of their own. Diaz and Kutcher co-star as opposites who meet in Las Vegas and get married after a night of drunken debauchery. The next morning, he hits a $3 million jackpot on a slot machine with one of her quarters. A judge who’s militant about marriage (Dennis Miller) forces them to make it work before either of them can get their hands on a cent. PG-13 for some sexual and crude content, and language, including a drug reference. 98 min.—Christy Lemire