Q: My new boss lies all the time, claims he's accomplished things he never did (like winning golf club championships and earning an MBA-we did some research!), and takes credit for other people's work. My whole department is in chaos. What should we do?-Marlane M., Dallas
A: Those who have only a passing acquaintance with the truth are difficult to deal with, especially when they're in a position of authority. Plus, it's very hard to understand why your boss would continue to lie when, with a little fact-checking, it was easy to prove that's what he's doing. But there are positive ways to deal with this situation.
Neurologists say that pathological lying is a mental disorder called behavioral variant frontotemporal dementia (bvFTD) and/or is characterized by changes in the brain's prefrontal white matter. But psychiatrists say it takes stimulation from environmental triggers and emotional reactions to various forms of stress, from rejection to abuse, to make the behavior bloom. And the DSM (Diagnostic and Symptoms Manual) says that in someone with antisocial personality disorder, a long-term pattern of manipulating, exploiting or violating the rights of others, habitual lying indicates a lack of emotion and coldness.
What are your options? Confronting a fabricator usually is ineffective, unless the person wants to change. So, in your work situation, document the untruths and deceptions. Then you and your co-workers can make a verifiable presentation to your boss's boss. Frame it in the context of what's best for your company, and you might end up with a positive change.
For anyone living with a compulsive liar, coping is more difficult. If the person doesn't recognize the behavior as a problem, it is hard for him or her to maintain relationships, have close friends and avoid burning bridges in everyday life and business. But if your loved one is receptive, there are treatments that can work, including talk therapy, anti-addiction programs and antidepressant medications. It is always worth trying to help create positive change.
Q: I'm intrigued by pomegranates, but how do you get those seeds out of them, and do they really deliver on the nutritional hype the ads seem to promise?-Shirley K., Boise, Idaho
A: Pomegranates are a wonderful fruit-tasty and packed with phytonutrients, vitamin C, potassium, fiber and the antioxidants ellagic acid and punic alagin (they fight damage from free radicals and preserve collagen in your skin). We love their seeds (called arils), juiced, tossed into salads, sprinkled on a bowl of oatmeal or dropped into a cup of tea for added flavor. But how do you get the seeds out of the fruit without making a mess?
Well, there are two effective techniques. First, the dry method (Dr. Oz's choice): Using a sharp knife, score the pomegranate around its equator, cutting about 1/16 of an inch into the skin. Put the knife down. Use your fingertips to work apart the pomegranate's two halves. Once apart, take one half (seeds facing up) and gently stretch the skin away from the center. You'll see and feel the white membrane (pith) that holds the seeds loosen. Now flip it seed side down, holding the half in one hand over a deep bowl with sides. Take the flat side of a wooden kitchen spoon and smack the skin. The arils will start dropping out. Keep rotating the fruit as you spank it, until you get all the seeds.
For the water method (Dr. Mike's preference), wash the skin well. Then roll the fruit on a countertop to soften it up. Next, cut off the crown. Now you're going to score the fruit from top to bottom in quarters. Then submerge the fruit in a bowl of water for a few minutes. Next, keeping your hands and the pomegranate underwater, break it apart. Use your fingers to separate the arils (they sink) from the pith (it floats). Pour the water off and rinse the seeds in a sieve. They're in season from October into November. Go for it!
Mehmet Oz, M.D. is host of "The Dr. Oz Show," and Mike Roizen, M.D. is Chief Wellness Officer and Chair of Wellness Institute at Cleveland Clinic. Email your health and wellness questions to Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen at [email protected].
(c) 2016 Michael Roizen, M.D. and Mehmet Oz, M.D.