PLACENTIA, Calif.-A truism: Husbands mess things up.
Even the best things. Even the most romantic things, the nicest things. Even the things that make wives fall in love with the big lugs in the first place.
Bob Hoffmann, an operations manager at Ford in Long Beach, Calif., messed up last week so badly that he needed a team of people at the Goodwill Store in Placentia-and a serious amount of prayer-to bail him out.
In the aftermath of Valentine's Day, Bob may be the most romantic, nicest and luckiest man in Southern California. When you hear his story, you may feel like slamming your palm into your forehead. And then you might want to congratulate Hoffmann for showing such heart.
The whole thing started when Bob thought it would be a good idea to hide the envelope full of $8,000 cash inside the pocket of an old orange shirt in the depths of his closet.
"I didn't think anybody would look in there," Bob said.
What could possibly go wrong?
HARLEY ROMANCE
Bob, 65, and Linda, 68, met 15 years ago in a biker bar. They both rode Harleys.
"I told my friend, 'See that man standing over there?'" Linda said. "I'm going to get to know him."
He had a Springer Softail bike, the kind where the seat rides low.
"I love the sound of Harleys," Linda said. "I love the feel of them."
They got married on Sept. 30, 2011. They don't have kids, but they do have a West Highland White Terrier named Casper.
Just after their wedding, Bob got an incredibly romantic idea. When he retired from Ford, sometime in 2018, he was going to give Linda the vacation of her dreams.
"Italy," Linda said.
"My plan was to save $10,000," Bob said. "Then one day I was going to walk up to her and say, 'We don't have to wish anymore.'"
SECRET ACCOUNT
Bob didn't tell Linda about the Italian Plan, which, in hindsight, may have been where this whole thing went wrong.
Secretly, Bob saved money for his wife's dream trip, building up a total of $8,000 in his account.
A couple of weeks ago, real life intervened. Bob got a call from a relative who had fallen on hard times. The relative, who had children, was about to get evicted from their apartment. They were desperate.
So Bob, the big-hearted guy that he is, decided to give away the money he had been saving for six years.
THE ORANGE SHIRT
Bob took the money out of bank last Monday and he intended to present it to the relative later in the week.
But what do you do with $8,000 in cash from your secret account? You can't just leave it lying around the house.
Bob put the money in an envelope, then stuffed the envelope in the pocket of an orange Van Heusen shirt that may once have been fashionable. He had outgrown it over the years.
The shirt was on the bottom rung of his closet, among the shirts he doesn't wear anymore.
This is where the palm and forehead come into play. Later that same night, Linda told Bob that she was going to Goodwill in the morning to donate some old clothes.
Big-hearted Bob offered to help. He grabbed a bunch of shirts out of his closet and loaded them into Linda's car.
Yes, one of them was the cash-laden orange Van Heusen. Linda dropped off the shirts at Goodwill last Tuesday morning.
YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW
It took Bob two days to realize what he had done.
He was driving home from work Thursday evening with another $100 to add to the total he would be giving his relative.
Where did I put that envelope?
When he got home, he tried to remain calm when he asked his wife, "Did you happen to drop off those shirts at Goodwill?"
Of course she had. Wives are efficient.
That's when Bob told her about the secret account, about how he had intended to surprise her, and about how he was going to give the money to someone who needed it more.
"What a nice thing to do," Linda said. "It was money I didn't even know about. He worked so hard to save that money."
Linda had another thought.
"Do you want me to ask how much was in that envelope?" she asked her husband.
"No," Bob said.
She muted the television.
"How much was in the envelope?" she asked.
When he told her she remembers saying "Oh my God."
THE PAYOFF
They raced to Goodwill, which, thankfully, was still open. They and a team of people searched though the store for about an hour.
They found other shirts that Bob had donated.
But not the orange one.
"Bob is an extremely strong human being," Linda said. "I don't want to hurt his male ego but he was crying. I haven't seen him that distraught since his parents died."
They drove home that night.
They prayed.
The phone rang at 7:30 a.m. Friday.
A woman named Caitlin Mulvihill had been searching through the warehouse when she saw a blue, wire bin full of men's dress shirts. One of them was orange.
"I was very relieved," Mulvihill said. "I saw that envelope sticking out of the pocket."
Linda called Bob at work.
"Thank you, Jesus," they said in unison on the phone.
"I can't believe I actually got the money back," Bob said. "The honesty and integrity of the people at Goodwill are amazing. Someone easily could have slipped that into their pocket."
Linda went back to Goodwill and claimed the envelope. She offered a huge reward. But Goodwill wouldn't take it.
She had to give them something. So they agreed she would pay $400 for a pizza party for the Goodwill staff.
When you have good intentions, sometimes karma works in your favor.
Last weekend, Bob found out that his relative no longer needed the money.
So he put the money safely back into the bank.
He didn't mess that part up.