Dear Heloise: I'm worried about all the spy cameras I see on the streets, in hospitals, in businesses and just about everywhere these days. Sure, surveillance cameras can be helpful, but they also rob us of our privacy. Then there are the websites that gather our viewing information, which, frankly, is no one's business. The next thing you know, you're bombarded by spam from people trying to sell you things.-T.R., Meriden, Conn.
T.R., surveillance cameras have been a second pair of eyes for the police and often aid in the apprehension of criminals. They may even deter criminals from robbing a store or home. In some cases, drivers reconsider running a red light because they know they are on camera and can receive a ticket by mail. As for websites, delete all your cookies on a daily basis, and that should help, or install a software program that will do it automatically. If you get spam, use the mail-blocking feature on your software.-Heloise
LEAVE KIDS OUT OF IT
Dear Heloise: I've been a divorce lawyer for about 25 years, and I've seen some mistakes people make with their children while going through a divorce. There are four major points I'd like to make to your readers to remember:
- Let your children know that you may be separating from your spouse, but not from them, no matter who gets custody. Assure them that you love them and it's OK for them to enjoy time with the other parent.
- Do not make children choose which parent they love the most or which parent they will live with or how time will be divided up between parents. Adults make those decisions, not the children.
- Always remember: They are your children, not your friends. DO NOT confide in them your problems or grievances. Do not tell them about the things said in the courts or in counseling, and do not tell them how much child support you pay or receive. In other words, keep them out of the divorce.
- Last point: Do not let your children get manipulative. They might tell you that if their demands are not met, they'll go live with the other parent or spend all their holidays there. The two of you must become a united front, with neither one allowing the children to have that kind of power.
-Kathrine G., New York, N.Y.
CURB APPEAL
Dear Heloise: When I have only one thing to donate and don't want to drive to the thrift store, to save some gas I put it out at the curb and put a "FREE" sign on it. It's gone in 30 minutes.-D. Jones, Boardman, Ohio
Check with your homeowners' association to make sure this is OK.-Heloise
King Features Syndicate