Texarkana, TX 15° View Live Radar Fri H 49° L 39° Sat H 59° L 54° Sun H 64° L 39° Weather Sponsored By:

Teen without true friends blames parents

Teen without true friends blames parents

January 13th, 2018 by Jeanne Phillips - Dear Abby in Features

Dear Abby: I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I'm pretty sure I'm the most insecure thing on the planet. I always feel self-conscious. Although I guess it's normal for kids my age to feel like this, it's at a whole different level for me.

I feel like everyone, including my closest friends, don't like me or care about me as much as I care for them. I try to distance myself from people so I won't seem annoying or clingy, but that has left me socially deprived.

I don't have a best friend either. I have multiple "kind of" friends. I'm scared to get close to anyone, and too shy to make new friends. And yes, I know, having friends isn't the most important thing in the world, but it's still pretty important because you need to have people there for you, to trust and to have fun and make memories with.

I always feel like a burden to everyone and like everyone who is nice to me is only doing it out of pity. This year I wasn't invited to even one Sweet 16 party because I have distanced myself from everyone. No one, except for two kids, talks to me at school, and when the teacher asks the class to partner up, I'm usually left alone.

A lot of this "no one likes you, everyone hates you" paranoia comes from my parents, because when I was younger, they said it to me repeatedly. I only have a few internet friends. They're the only best friends I have, but unlike me, they have lives outside of the internet. I'm the loser. Please help.—Completely Worthless

Dear Completely Worthless: Please do not compare your life with the lives of the people you know from the internet because the information can be misleading. In an online world, everything seems rosy because people are less likely to post about their disappointments.

In the real world, let me point out that parents are supposed to support and encourage their children, not belittle and denigrate them. Because you need more mentoring than I can offer in a letter or a column, I hope you will discuss your issues with a counselor at school who may be able to help you receive professional counseling to overcome the verbal abuse you have experienced at home. Please write me again and let me know how you are doing, because I care.

 

Dear Abby: What's a polite way to respond to friends who ask, "Are you having a baby shower?" when no one has offered to throw me one?

My husband and I are expecting our first child, and we are thrilled. My family is unable to host a baby shower (which I understand would be a breach of etiquette anyway) and my husband has no family.

I'm not particularly wedded to the idea of having a shower, since my husband and I are well established and I don't really like being the center of attention. Still, if someone offered, I would graciously accept. I feel awkward when I am asked this question because I don't want to seem entitled or expectant or like I'm feeling sorry for myself. Do you have any way to say, "No one has offered, but I'll let you know if they do"?—Expectant Mom in California

Dear Expectant Mom: Honesty is the best policy. Your answer to that question is perfectly acceptable. It's the truth, and it may cause some of your friends to step up to bat.

 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

 

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby—Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

Andrews McMeel Syndication

Getting Started/Comments Policy

Getting started

  1. 1. If you frequently comment on news websites then you may already have a Disqus account. If so, click the "Login" button at the top right of the comment widget and choose whether you'd rather log in with Facebook, Twitter, Google, or a Disqus account.
  2. 2. If you've forgotten your password, Disqus will email you a link that will allow you to create a new one. Easy!
  3. 3. If you're not a member yet, Disqus will go ahead and register you. It's seamless and takes about 10 seconds.
  4. 4. To register, either go through the login process or just click in the box that says "join the discussion," type your comment, and either choose a social media platform to log you in or create a Disqus account with your email address.
  5. 5. If you use Twitter, Facebook or Google to log in, you will need to stay logged into that platform in order to comment. If you create a Disqus account instead, you'll need to remember your Disqus password. Either way, you can change your display name if you'd rather not show off your real name.
  6. 6. Don't be a huge jerk or do anything illegal, and you'll be fine.

Texarkana Gazette Comments Policy

The Texarkana Gazette web sites include interactive areas in which users can express opinions and share ideas and information. We cannot and do not monitor all of the material submitted to the website. Additionally, we do not control, and are not responsible for, content submitted by users. By using the web sites, you may be exposed to content that you may find offensive, indecent, inaccurate, misleading, or otherwise objectionable. You agree that you must evaluate, and bear all risks associated with, the use of the Gazette web sites and any content on the Gazette web sites, including, but not limited to, whether you should rely on such content. Notwithstanding the foregoing, you acknowledge that we shall have the right (but not the obligation) to review any content that you have submitted to the Gazette, and to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content that we determine, in our sole discretion, (a) does not comply with the terms and conditions of this agreement; (b) might violate any law, infringe upon the rights of third parties, or subject us to liability for any reason; or (c) might adversely affect our public image, reputation or goodwill. Moreover, we reserve the right to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content at any time, for the reasons set forth above, for any other reason, or for no reason. If you believe that any content on any of the Gazette web sites infringes upon any copyrights that you own, please contact us pursuant to the procedures outlined in the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (Title 17 U.S.C. § 512) at the following address:

Copyright Agent
The Texarkana Gazette
15 Pine Street
Texarkana, TX 75501
Phone: 903-794-3311
Email: webeditor@texarkanagazette.com