Texarkana, TX 94° View Live Radar Mon H 97° L 76° Tue H 97° L 75° Wed H 95° L 75° Weather Sponsored By:

Talk of remarriage triggers questions about burial plots

Talk of remarriage triggers questions about burial plots

July 11th, 2018 by Jeanne Phillips - Dear Abby in Features

Dear Abby: My brother-in-law "Charles" has earned the privilege of being buried in a military cemetery. He lost his wife, "Claire," to cancer 10 years ago; she is buried in their plot in the military cemetery with a headstone. Their children are all adults now.

Charles has been seriously dating a divorcee, "Joyce," and they are talking about marriage. Joyce feels that for him to be committed to her in marriage, they should have a plot together. It's our understanding that only one wife is allowed to be buried in the military cemetery. This would mean Claire would have to be exhumed and transferred to another one.

I'm not sure how close Joyce is to her family, but she does have grown children. I suggested they get an outside opinion and a prenuptial agreement before they get married, which both would be agreeable to. What have others done in similar situations?—Concerned in New Hampshire

Dear Concerned: There are different types of military cemeteries in this country, 135 of which are maintained by the Department of Veterans Affairs National Cemetery Administration. (None of them are located in your state.) However, there are many state and private military cemeteries nationwide, and their rules may differ from those of the national. Because you didn't mention which category your brother-in-law's cemetery falls under, the best advice I can offer is to contact it and find out what its rules are in circumstances like this.

 

Dear Abby: I tend to be a people pleaser. So when my wife wanted to buy a home for us to raise a family in, I went along with her plan to move to her hometown. I wanted her to be happy, and I was excited about the home-purchasing process.

It's almost two years later, and I regret it. I'm not happy here. I miss my hometown where all my friends and family live. It's a beach town, a throwback to a time when everyone knew everyone and you could walk or bike-ride anywhere. People don't lock their doors, and homes are insulated from the streets and traffic, so kids can play freely outside. To me, it's the perfect town.

But there is no convincing my wife to try giving my hometown a shot as our full-time residence. Despite knowing we will never be able to own a summer house there, that's the "dream" my wife sells to me. I resent her because she got what she wants, and I just have to deal with it. Should I just accept my fate?—Resentful in New York

Dear Resentful: I am sorry you are unhappy with the decision you made. Your wife may have wanted to move to her hometown because she felt her relatives could help out with your children, which is a plus. However, unless you find the strength to assert yourself, "accepting your fate" is exactly what you may have to do.

 

Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

 

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

 

Andrews McMeel Syndication

Getting Started/Comments Policy

Getting started

  1. 1. If you frequently comment on news websites then you may already have a Disqus account. If so, click the "Login" button at the top right of the comment widget and choose whether you'd rather log in with Facebook, Twitter, Google, or a Disqus account.
  2. 2. If you've forgotten your password, Disqus will email you a link that will allow you to create a new one. Easy!
  3. 3. If you're not a member yet, Disqus will go ahead and register you. It's seamless and takes about 10 seconds.
  4. 4. To register, either go through the login process or just click in the box that says "join the discussion," type your comment, and either choose a social media platform to log you in or create a Disqus account with your email address.
  5. 5. If you use Twitter, Facebook or Google to log in, you will need to stay logged into that platform in order to comment. If you create a Disqus account instead, you'll need to remember your Disqus password. Either way, you can change your display name if you'd rather not show off your real name.
  6. 6. Don't be a huge jerk or do anything illegal, and you'll be fine.

Texarkana Gazette Comments Policy

The Texarkana Gazette web sites include interactive areas in which users can express opinions and share ideas and information. We cannot and do not monitor all of the material submitted to the website. Additionally, we do not control, and are not responsible for, content submitted by users. By using the web sites, you may be exposed to content that you may find offensive, indecent, inaccurate, misleading, or otherwise objectionable. You agree that you must evaluate, and bear all risks associated with, the use of the Gazette web sites and any content on the Gazette web sites, including, but not limited to, whether you should rely on such content. Notwithstanding the foregoing, you acknowledge that we shall have the right (but not the obligation) to review any content that you have submitted to the Gazette, and to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content that we determine, in our sole discretion, (a) does not comply with the terms and conditions of this agreement; (b) might violate any law, infringe upon the rights of third parties, or subject us to liability for any reason; or (c) might adversely affect our public image, reputation or goodwill. Moreover, we reserve the right to reject, delete, disable, or remove any content at any time, for the reasons set forth above, for any other reason, or for no reason. If you believe that any content on any of the Gazette web sites infringes upon any copyrights that you own, please contact us pursuant to the procedures outlined in the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (Title 17 U.S.C. § 512) at the following address:

Copyright Agent
The Texarkana Gazette
15 Pine Street
Texarkana, TX 75501
Phone: 903-794-3311
Email: webeditor@texarkanagazette.com