Everyone's experience with grief is unique and is a journey most people must go alone.
But finding people who have been through something similar can help the grieving process and eventually the healing.
"Meeting with other people in a grief support group can be very helpful and definitely something I would encourage for anyone who is grieving," said Rick Huntze, a bereavement counselor and volunteer coordinator for Hospice of Texarkana/Hospice of Hope. "It's helpful to talk with someone who has been there."
Huntze facilitates several grief support groups. Richard Martin facilitates the men's group.
"Richard Martin has been doing this for a while. And my hat's off to him because it can be hard for men to get involved," Huntze said.
He said many people benefit from a grief support group for people similar to them. An example would be a support group just for men or a support group for parents who have lost children.
Men especially can often hide their grief.
Men feel grief as much as anyone, but they are expected to be strong in our society and are ashamed of showing perceived weakness.
However, it can be very therapeutic when they do give in to their feelings, Huntze said.
Texarkana resident H.W. Hall has benefited from attending the men's support group.
Hall himself is a licensed professional counselor, so he knows the benefits on a professional basis. But he has learned about grief support through the loss of both his first and second wife.
"If you have not lived through the death of a spouse, then you don't understand what it's like. You must go through it to understand and all of the men in this group have lost wives through death. This group knows. They have been through it," Hall said.
Some issues men deal with after the loss of a wife are practical ones.
"I was at an absolute loss how to manage the household. It's like a part of you has been amputated," he said.
He said it is hard at first for many men to show their weaknesses. However, the ones who attend the weekly support groups can see the progress made by those who have been in the group longer.
"You can see the progress of the ones who have made it through the first year, the first birthday, the first anniversary," Hall said. "You also talk about the setbacks and the bumps in the road," he said.
There are several benefits to attending a support group, according to whatsyourgrief.com. Some of them include:
In a support group, people in the acute phase of grief have contact with those who are much further along in their healing. In fact, groups are often led by people who have been through a loss themselves. Group members who are doing well and finding new ways to heal can provide hope to those who are new to grief and show that it's possible to feel joy again (among other things). Also, not only might hope be instilled in general, but in some instances, more senior group members might prove the group's efficacy and provide reassurance to others that the support group itself is a positive and helpful tool.
The reminder that you are not alone. Grief can feel very lonely and isolating, especially when no one else around you seems to be grieving. Although no two people experience grief in the exact same way, by attending a support group you may find that other people have experiences, feelings and struggles that are similar to your own. When you feel totally alone and misunderstood by the world, the support group community can provide you with a haven of understanding.
Humans have an inherent desire to belong. It feels good to be a part of a group and to feel accepted and validated. When you consider the idea that belonging can impact your sense of happiness and well being and then consider the reality that experiencing the death of a loved one can make you feel different, alone and isolated, you realize just how valuable the experience of belonging to a group can be. Grief is not a club anyone wants to belong to; once you're in it though, there is a great benefit in surrounding yourself with other members.
There are several grief and bereavement groups offered locally through Hospice of Texarkana/Hospice of Hope.
An adult support group meets from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. on Wednesdays.
The Movers and Shakers group meets at 8:15 a.m. Thursday at Central Mall and a Comfort Through Scripture group meets at 11 a.m. on Mondays.
To RSVP, call 903-794-4263.
Though many loss groups are specialized, there are also things that everyone who grieves has in common.
"A loss is a loss is a loss whether it's the loss of a child, loss of a parent or even the loss of a limb," Huntze said.