Rock critics are tone deaf to what makes music fun

Russell McDermott, columnist
Russell McDermott, columnist

They say the only certainties in life are death and taxes.

Well, I can think of another. I don't know how long I'll live but I bet I never see Nickelback inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Anyone want to take me up on it?

And it's too bad. I like some of their songs. But they are perhaps the least respected and most maligned extremely popular band playing today.

Why? From what I can gather they are too "commercial."

More about that later.

It's that time again for the second most contentious election in America-the vote to determine which acts will be enshrined among the Hall of Fame's more than 300 inductees. This year's list of nominees was released this week and includes some new names joining some who have been nominated before.

Among the latter is the disco group Chic, with a record 11 nominations and still no nod. The Cars, The J. Geils Band, The Zombies, Kraftwerk, Janet Jackson, Chaka Khan and Yes are on the list again, while newcomers include Journey, Tupac Shakur, ELO, Bad Brains, Jane's Addiction, Depeche Mode, Steppenwolf and Pearl Jam.

We all have our favorites, but none of us will be voting for the final five who make it in. Only about 700 "rock experts" will be allowed to decide who makes the cut. 

Rock experts? Well, that's what they call them. I don't know who they are but I don't doubt every one is better versed in all aspects of music than I will ever be.

Other so-called experts have been weighing in on the nominations though. The critics. And from what I've read from them so far I have to hope they don't get a vote.

I think everyone pretty much agrees that professional critics can be pompous and annoying. And these days all it takes is an internet connection and Wordpress to be considered a "professional" critic. But I have to say it-when it comes to popular culture none are more full of themselves than music critics.

Don't get me wrong. Movie and TV critics can be full of it, but they know when something is "so bad it's good" and when to let fun stick its nose in the door. And at least book critics have the ability to explain why one work is better than the other. They can point to an author's slow-moving plot or characters that aren't well realized. And they too understand that something can be formulaic, even trashy, yet fun.

But music critics? Especially rock and roll critics? Forget about it. In their world, music is either good or bad, based on nothing more than their own standards, and there is no room for something that's just plain enjoyable.

In fact, popularity seems to be the critic's kiss of death for a song or a band. If a lot of people like it, then it can't be good. The worst sin in rock is to be-here's that word again-"commercial." That means something the great unwashed likes enough to actually spend money on.

Heaven forbid.

This morning I read a piece on Salon.com by a rock critic, author and blogger who tore into this year's list of Hall of Fame nominees, After labeling Depeche Mode as "pretentious-adolescent" he proceeded to, pretentiously in my opinion and with all the certainty of a teenage metal head, condemn Journey, Yes and pretty much every other band from the 1980s as bland, uninspired and-horror of horrors-commercial. He seemed especially antagonistic towards Journey and lead singer Steve Perry, calling one of the band's biggest hits "Don't Stop Believing" a "musical cockroach we'll never kill."

His own choices for the Hall from this year's nominees? Tupac, The Zombies, The Cars, Kraftwerk and Chic. No problem there-especially when it comes to The Cars. But I would love for someone to explain what makes any of these acts demonstrably "better" than Journey or the other nominees. Heck, why are they better-in absolute terms-than Nickelback?

I admit I'm no music scholar. I know what I like and that's what I listen to. I like rock from the '50s up to today, but most of the stuff I like dates from the late '60s to the early '90s and that includes the apparently dismal and commercial '80s and Journey, from soft rock to hard, pop to punk. While I'm not a big fan of country, rap or even the heaviest of metal, there are songs in each of those genres I enjoy. And I throw a dash of Sinatra, Bennett and big band stuff in the mix, too.

But that's just me. I can't claim my taste in music is better than anyone else's. Music is just too personal for absolutes. The rock critics need to lighten up. Go out and grab a beer. Grab two or three. Have some fun. Because music is supposed to be fun as much as anything else.

So good luck, Journey. I'm pulling for you.

But the heck what do I know? After all, I like Nickelback.

Upcoming Events