Know Your Neighbor: Kaley Parker

After pain of miscarriages, couple finds joy in adoption

Kaley Parker of Queen City, Texas, with husband David and children, Preslee and Corey. (Photo by Katie Stone)
Kaley Parker of Queen City, Texas, with husband David and children, Preslee and Corey. (Photo by Katie Stone)

NAME: Kaley Parker

NEIGHBORHOOD: Queen City, Texas

FAMILY: Married to David with two children, Preslee and Corey

OCCUPATION: Special Education Assistant

FAVORITE FOOD: Mexican

FAVORITE COLOR: Turquoise

FAVORITE HOBBY: Crafting, hunting and taking care of my chickens

FAVORITE TV SHOW: HDTV

COLLECTIONS: I love to paint, when I actually have time.

FAVORITE QUOTE: "Be the change that you wish to see in the world!" – Mahatma Ghandi

FAVORITE CHRISTMAS TRADITION: "I let the kids pick out a new ornament each year that reminds them of something from that year that's special to them or something they participated in."

According to the March of Dimes, as many as 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, something Kaley Parker knows all too well.

Kaley and her husband, David, got married in May 2014. They knew early in their marriage they were ready to have a baby. The couple was so excited when they found out about their first pregnancy but would soon learn the heartache that comes with a sudden loss.

"I had my first miscarriage when I was about 10 weeks pregnant. I was heartbroken," Kaley said.

After some time had passed, they decided to try again. In 2015, they were pregnant again -- this time with twins.

"We were so excited but knew that our house was not big enough!" she said. They decided to reconstruct and add on to their existing home. Unfortunately, Kaley and David were not able to bring their babies home to new bedrooms. She was right at three months pregnant when she had another miscarriage.

"It was much worse than the first one. With this one, I was losing a lot of blood," Kaley said. "I had to have a D&C procedure done. It was so emotionally and physically hard."

Kaley had always had some type issue with her cycle since she was young. She had no idea it could lead to infertility and pregnancy loss. "When we decided to try to have children, I didn't even think about me having issues," she said. "Losing the twins was the hardest thing I had to do."

Kaley and David decided that they could not go through that experience again. They took a lot of time to grieve and heal. The subject of adoption came up multiple times, but Kaley was not ready to talk about it.

"It was such a hard time for us, both. I was struggling with the inability to have children and just knowing that I couldn't give my husband a child was so hard."

Then in 2017, they began considering adoption and how it could be the answer to completing their family. Making the decision to adopt a child was one that she and her husband made together; however, they did not know exactly what that would entail.

"I knew some people that had gone through an agency and how much that had cost. We talked about it and agreed that it would be too overwhelming for us financially and emotionally," she said. "But if something falls into place for us, then I was all for it."

About 2 weeks later, David received a phone call from friend regarding a child who needed a place to call home. The child was 10 months old and had a 6-year-old sister. The sister was set to stay with a biological grandparent; however, the 10-month-old boy was up for adoption.

"We got to meet him and visit with them for a little bit. We did not take him home that day, but we got to bring him home a few weeks later," she said.

The child was still involved in an active CPS (Child Protection Services) case and could not officially be adopted. However, he was able to live with the Parker couple during that time.

"I was ready to bring him home. After meeting him, I knew I wanted him to be with us. My husband continued to remind me that it may not turn out how we want, but I was good," she said. "Even though I probably would not have been good if he had to leave. I still knew that he needed to come home with us."

As the process of permanent placement began, they received another phone call regarding the 6-year-old sister. Kaley and David had not planned on adopting two children and began to consider how the dynamics would change.

"We started talking about how a 6-year-old is going to bring more memories of the life they had before and how that brings trauma. We had to ask ourselves, 'Are we ready to handle all that trauma?' Kaley said.

Ultimately, Kaley and David decided that "none of that mattered." They could not split the kids up. "We decided to keep Corey and Preslee together and we are so glad that we did."

Once both children were in the home, the Parkers started the adoption process. They worked closely with an attorney but had to wait until CPS closed the case to begin.

There are basic adoption requirements that need to be met according to the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services. Some of those requirements include criminal background checks, home studies, and proof of marriage. The adoption was final on November 20, 2017.

According to Kaley, they were very lucky to have had such an easy process compared to other stories that she had heard. Preslee and Corey have two other siblings who were also placed for adoption. They were adopted together by a family that once lived 5 miles from the Parker home.

"This is how I know it was meant to be," Kaley said. I am so good with our family. I love how it all worked out."

Kaley believes that she faced every heartache so she could be a mom to two kids who needed it the most.

She knows that her experience is different than another woman's experience but offers advice for those who are struggling with infertility and/or miscarriage.

"Have patience. I know that is the hardest thing to do. The struggle sucks so much," she said. "It is hard to give advice when everyone's experience is different."

Kaley believes that holding onto her faith and having a strong support system including friends, family, and her workplace is what got her and David through the toughest times, but also through the best times.

"I am so grateful for all the help we got," she said. "Our friends and family have welcomed our children as if they have always been a part of the family. We are so blessed."


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