Deep into the Red River Delta, nary a house, dog, nor tree in sight, I was running flat-out in Dodge's 707-hp Charger SRT Hellcat Widebody when the road tossed a twist my way.
Just as it dipped into an old river run, it revealed an esses a pair of curves quick left, a sweeping continuous-radius right. Braking in a 4,586-lb. muscle car is best done in straight lines before curves, but there was no time.
Visions of a 40-ft rooster tail of mud behind a shiny, white-and-blue Daytona-style sedan trenching a drenched pasture danced through my mind as I eased off the throttle and used the paddle shifters to drop from 8th to 6th, to 5th. As the revs rose, I tested the heavily-weighted steering and happily discovered I had plenty of grip.
With little body lean and zero plow or slide, it went right where I pointed it.
Oh, happy day.
Dodge SRT Hellcat Widebody
Base Price: $69,645
Options:
- Suede interior - $1,595 (with front power seats)
- Alcantra trim - $995
- Nav system - $995
- Harmon-Kardon Audio - $1,795 (19 speakers, amplifier, surround sound)
- Dual blue racing stripes - $995
- Gunmetal gray brake calipers - $595
- Gas Guzzler tax - $2,100
- Price as tested: - $80,210 (delivered)
Even at 135, fifth gear put the engine in the sweet spot of the torque band, plenty of power to pull it through the curve. I lined up on the apex of the second, dropped to 4th and shot into the next straightaway.
I took a deep breath and thought about what I had experienced. I drove plenty of '60s and '70s muscle cars and am tempted to say the 7th-generation Charger is everything we ever wanted in those hunks of Detroit muscle.
And I would be wrong. This car does things we never dreamed of.
Detroit muscle
The Charger still uses the Detroit method for managing horsepower-to-weight ratio: Eat another box of doughnuts, enlarge the brakes and cooling system and dial up the power. True to its heritage, that's what Dodge did with the latest Hemi monster:
- 6,166 cc (6.2L, 376.3 c.i)
- 707 hp, 650 ft.-lb torque
- 0-60: 3.6 seconds
- 0-100: 7.1 seconds
- 0-130: 12 seconds
- Quarter mile: 10.96 seconds, 127 mph
- Top speed 196 mph
Note: This data comes from multiple testing sources. We didn't actually do these things, or at least that's our story. Take note that I have reverted to the editorial "we." In truth, one never takes along other human beings, nor should any be in sight, when one is seeking to find out what a car will do.
Nimble monster
"You wanna go fast?" the old mechanic said. "That's no problem. All it takes is money. How fast you wanna go?"
Dodge justified the $80,000 price tag on this car by coming up with a weight-to-power of 6.4 lbs. By comparison, a '70 Plymouth Hemi 'Cuda 426 came in at 9.1 lbs. The original Shelby Cobra A/C, which was little more than two seats and a shell around a race-tuned Ford 427 V-8, had a 6.4 ratio.
But unlike the old days, this is a complete car. Car folks talk about the two-percenters, as in, anybody can get a car 98% right, but only a few can nail it. So it is with the SRT Hellcat.
Everything feels right. The transmission logic puts the car in just the right gear, whether under heavy or light throttle. The suspension offers superior control, but also a comfortable ride for the 99.9999% of the time it is being driven within legal limits. The electronic steering feels solid and provides timely feedback. Brakes are potent.
A small class
The interior features careful craftsmanship, high-caliber materials, comfortable seats and loads of technology. Most of all, it's quiet. That sets it apart from the similarly-priced Ford Shelby GT500 and Corvette Z06.
One sign of a life well-lived: I've had the chance to see what all three can do. For my money, it's the Charger and the call isn't close.
Forget for a second, if you can, any emotional attachments you may have formed to any of these icons. While we're it, let's not waste valuable time debating which would win on a drag strip, stock-car track or motocross circuit. If you are buying a car to race, you're looking for love in the wrong places. Go get a weekend racer, a helmet and go to the track. Be sure to buckle up.
In the category of cars I love because they can scare me, I'd choose the Charger simply because it is the better car. You know, as in, you can take granny to church in it. Unlike the Corvette, which is fast, but rough on the bum, the Charger has a back seat.
As big a fan as I am of the late Carroll Shelby, those cars are more about the machine than the occupants. I find Shelbys fast and a hoot on a motocross track, but loud and unsophisticated in everyday driving. It's unpleasant.
Safety third
So, I'm telling you to go buy a Charger? Oh, heck no.
The Hellcat widebody, for example, has retro side scallops on the doors, a sloping coupe-like profile, and slit headlamps peering out from a low-set grille, but no room for a forward-mounted radar system. That leaves out the most important elements of driver-assist technology: adaptive cruise control, lane-departure warning or lane-keep assist, and forward-collision warning with automatic emergency braking. These things avoid minor inconveniences like head-on collisions and rollover accidents.
That's a car with safety technology from an earlier century.
Also from another century is the Charger's foundation. While other manufacturers have engineered lighter, stronger chasses, which handle better and help provide exponentially better safety cage protection, Fiat-Chrysler is still building 'em the way they used to.
Why? Chrysler is cash-strapped and It takes billions of dollars to re-engineer a car, re-tool factories, and re-train the people who build them.
One suspects this is one reason Dodge Charger and Challenger have higher-than-average fatality rates, according to the National Institute for Highway Safety. Exactly what is causing this is hard to say. The automotive press is constantly feted and fawned over, so bad news tends to sink to the bottom. There isn't a lot of research on public information such as this.
Another cause might be that Dodge has managed to prop up sales for its outdated fleet by pumping up horsepower. That tends to produce cars that go faster than people know how to drive them.
Bottom line: The Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat Widebody is a terrific car, in many ways an epitome of a process that took decades perfect. If you see one on a rental lot, give it a try.