The numbers inside the angry notification bubbles on our phones and computer screens have become meaningless.
I have 66,394 unread emails, 416 unlistened-to voice mails and 316 alerts from my bank. There are push alerts, piling up for everything from old grocery orders to breaking news. Sometimes, just for fun, I'll hit mute and let the Slack notifications pile up.
I'm not even the worst offender. A survey of friends and co-workers found unread text messages, social media notifications and DMs in the double-digits. Two people had more than 300,000 ignored emails.
By now we all know there's no prize for reading everything, and that tackling every piece of digital information thrown our way isn't doable, let alone desirable. Life is too short to waste on unwanted bids for our attention, especially from corporations.
But letting these numbers tally up doesn't always help. For anyone stressed out by their numbers - which are often an anxiety-inducing shade of red - we have some advice on getting rid of them.
THE ONE NOTIFICATION YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT
We are here to free you from (some of) your worries, but first you have to actually deal with something worth worrying about: software updates. Make sure your phone, tablets and computers are all running the latest operating systems to avoid any dangerous security holes. If you're not interested in a big upgrade to an entirely new version - say from Windows 10 to 11 - you should still install any security updates for your current operating system. Look in your settings for any notifications begging you to pay attention.
GET RID OF EVERYTHING
There is no way I am reading 66,441 emails (the number went up since I started writing). Instead I am going to fake a fresh start. There are many ways you can do this, depending on how much you need to access old messages.
The most satisfying but labor-intensive method is to delete everything in your various inboxes and apps. If there are things you'll want to look at later - personal texts, information you'll need for work, anything that might show up in a lawsuit - this isn't recommended. Instead, you can mark all your emails and messages as "read." Your inbox and messages apps will look the same, but the numbers and bubbles will disappear until something new comes in.
If simply seeing old emails is triggering, move everything to an Archive folder, the ultimate out-of-sight, out-of-mind move. Some email clients make it tricky to do this in one swoop, so you might have to spend some time on housekeeping. If you want to accomplish something similar with texts, you can create a backup and then delete them from your phone or computer.
PRETEND YOU GOT RID OF EVERYTHING
Cleaning out inboxes or marking messages as read will get you a fresh start, but texts, alerts and emails will immediately start rolling in again. If you don't find value in these alerts, you can hide them for good on your smartphone. On an iPhone, go to Settings > Notifications. Here, you can go into each relevant app and toggle off "Allow Notifications." If you want them only sometimes, you can turn on your phone's Do Not Disturb mode. On an Android device, go into the Notifications section of Settings and toggle off the option that says "Notification Dot on App Icons."
Washington Post reporter Shira Ovide takes this approach and has a home screen devoid of notification bubbles, though she'll still get an alert when a new message comes in. "Why? Because staring at those dots makes me anxious, and I don't need more anxiety in my life," says Ovide.
ACTUALLY DEAL WITH THE MESSAGES
If a 300,000-message pileup is a problem for you personally or professionally, you have to do more than just get rid of notifications.
"When people are faced with a large, swollen inbox, it does, from our research, have a negative impact on anxiety levels and feelings of control over their work," says Emma Russell, an associate professor at the University of Sussex Business School.
Russell studies email's impact on people's productivity and well-being. In a recent review of research, her team found a number of habits that were beneficial to people who use email.
First is having boundaries and letting other people know when they can expect to hear from you. For example, you might only check email during the work day and once on weekends. You can add that information to your email signature. And for texts, tell friends and family members directly or use an away message. Telling people your boundaries is half the battle - you'll also have to stick to them.
Another method is to, yes, actually go through your messages regularly. Triaging your inboxes doesn't mean replying to everything, but identifying what requires a follow-up action, what's just informational and what can be thrown away. You might do it daily or once a week, but try to pick a schedule and stick to it.
"It doesn't mean people are necessarily striving towards inbox zero, but they do know what's there and there's no surprises waiting for them," says Russell.
Accept that you may never get ahead of your messages. By now your email address and phone number are spread across marketing and scammer databases around the world. There's no way to get them back, and new contact information will likely meet the same fate shortly.
Don't contribute to the problem
You don't just get an overwhelming number of emails and texts. Chances are you send your fair share as well. Going forward, think hard about whether that message is necessary, and if it could be more effective in another medium. Maybe make a meeting an email, an email a Slack, a Slack something you say in person - or that thought something you keep to yourself.
"You're only using your work email system to communicate about work. Not 'Has anyone seen my mug?'; not these ping-pong back-and-forth exchanges," says Russell. "It really reduces the clutter and the amount of email people are receiving and sending."
You can then take all that reclaimed time to be more productive or, even better, less productive with a good book, a cup of tea and not a notification in sight.