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story.lead_photo.caption Dear Abby

Dear Abby: About 40 years ago, I did someone an injustice, and I have felt guilty ever since. I worked for a consulting firm that fired an accounting clerk who was in my small office. I didn't know why she was fired, and I never heard a cross word exchanged between her and her supervisor. She seemed to be capable and friendly.

A prospective employer called me for a reference, and because my company told me that it did not respond to requests for references, I didn't give her one. Ever since, I have wished I had shared what I knew about her. If I was allowed a do-over, I would have told the employer about my positive experience with her and my belief that she was capable and friendly. Her being Black and not having my reference may have increased her difficulty in finding a job. I am sharing this with your readers so they may avoid making a similar mistake. — Guilt-Ridden In Texas

Dear Guilt-Ridden: Some companies, on the advice of their legal counsel, strictly adhere to a policy of disclosing only dates of hire and discharge of employees. It was not a mistake to do as your employers instructed, and you should not feel guilty.

 

Dear Abby: My heart is heavy as I write this. Since the pandemic started, my father-in-law has called us every couple of weeks to ask if we are safe and OK. I have heard nothing from my own father.

I finally called him, mentioning that I thought he would call to check on us. His response was, "I'm the adult; you should be checking on me." (I have two grown children and two grandchildren, so I was taken aback by the thought that I was not an "adult.") I mentioned that because he is not in a nursing home, in jail or has to go to work, I figured he was much safer than my husband and me, who still must go out to work every day.

I feel like my father doesn't care about us like my father-in-law does. What do you think? — Disappointed In Florida

Dear Disappointed: What do I think? I think that if you love your father, you should give him an occasional call, but when you do, expect nothing in return. And you should thank your lucky stars you have a father-in-law who takes up the slack.

 

Andrews McMeel Syndication

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